Wednesday, April 18, 2012

Wednesday Wow Factor!


Week 16
Start date
: 12/28/11
Initial weight:
218
Current weight:
199
This week's loss
: 0
Total weight loss:
19 pounds

Last week's dream focus: Work on not internalizing emotions, having crucial conversations with myself and others; find healthy ways of getting rid of those deadly and toxic emotions; avoid emotional eating; eat sensibly when dining at a restaurant or ordering take-out foods; continue eating a healthy breakfast; work out 2 times; and GET TO THE STORE for a better food selection!

What went well:  I did two full hours of 80's Zumba on Saturday!  It was a blast and kicked my booty... but that's the point, right?  It's so much fun!  And I'm pretty sure "Become a Zumba Instructor" is back on my dream list.   :)  
I had some crucial conversations about things I've been internalizing.  They weren't comfortable.  I never want hurt someone's feelings or make them feel bad, frustrated, or anything other than happiness and joy... but I had to talk about things.  And honestly, I didn't feel good about the first conversation after it was over, like I anticipated.  I actually felt worse, in a way.  But, after some time, things got better and I felt a weight lifted from me and less anger/tears.  I found some small courage and again stepped out of my comfort zone to have the second crucial conversation. Surprisingly, this one was an instant relief... the ideal kind!  Still uncomfortable at first but opened an amazing dialogue for healing, trust, unity, and resolution.  Whew.  I'll have another one next week (possibly the most difficult of them all) but it doesn't seem as big now!  I'm trusting the right words will be said and I'll lead by example.
Also, I WENT TO THE STORE!  I bought better food selections and I'm loving them.  Delicious and smart.  What a concept!  I learned about this thing called "powdered peanut butter" which is amazing!  It's peanut butter in a powdered form.  You just add 1 teaspoon of water to 2 tablespoons of powdered PB.  The organic process removes 85% of the fat calories without the chemicals and there aren't any preservatives!  1 serving (2 tablespoons) is only 45 calories!  I've been adding it to my protein shakes.  YUM!  Try it! 

Challenges: I'm still trying to implement toning sessions... well exercise, period.  I'm struggling with not getting home from baseball games until 7:30ish, then making dinner/eating out/carry-out and washing clothes, washing hair (not a quick task for me), or writing my blog.  And it seems the nights we don't have ball games I'm fulfilling other commitments and I don't get home until after 9:00.  I know these aren't good excuses and I need to commit to this as passionately as I commit to other things.  There are people busier than me who make the time more frequently than I have.  :)
My poor food choices decreased last week, but I'm still not where I'd like to be.  I'm making progress!

This week's dream focus: Rock the next crucial convo, recommit to exercising, and eat sensibly when dining at a restaurant or ordering take-out foods

4 comments:

  1. A different persepctive maybe (from me)and some tough words to maybe hear (and you can tell me to "HUSH IT" and mind my own business-I'm a big girl).....You are the most caring and giving person I know! SERIOUSLY!! I don't think I know another person that would literally give the shirt off their back if someone asked or simply needed it. You so DESPERTATELY want to help and comfort and support people, it really amazes me! You take strength and comfort and validation from how you help and support people. It makes you the you that you are. AMAZING!!!

    I, on the other hand, am selfish. I am selfish to the core and I simply know it! I am selfich with my time and my activites and my life. I DO love and care about my family and friends and I DO drop everything when they need me. I love my family and friends with all of my heart!! But, I am still selfish with my life.....

    You are like 95% of all women, you care and sacrifice and love and support and encourage EVERYONE ONE ELSE and put YOU on the backburner. You are the "Mother Earth", giving the essential nutrients (love, support, time, committment, encouragement) for everyone ELSE to grow and prosper.

    I think (actually, I KNOW!) you forget about YOU! Your journey to health is about you, but I see the struggles and conflicts you are having with finding the right balance. Your schedule is packed FULL of "To DO's" and committments and activities. It sucks the time right out of your day and leaves you nothing for YOU!

    I guess what I'm trying to say, is SAY NO, once in a while! Take an hour or two each week FOR YOU! I know what your priorities are...Todd, Trevor, your mom and dad, your church family, work, friends....but where do YOU fit into that? Where can you say NO and take away one or two hours a week for your journey to health and fitness FOR YOU?? It might mean missing a baseball game or skipping a blog, but you will be better for everyone else when you are fit and healthy and BALANCED in your life!

    I have no problems saying NO and taking the time I need to focus on me! I usually need some balance the OTHER way......we could balance each other out, for sure!!!

    Please know that I LOVE and SUPPORT YOU always!!! I see you making this difficult and challenging journey (I am right next to you, sister!!). It is so tough and demanding! I don't think we ever realize how hard it truly is going to be!

    You can tell me to keep my mouth shut and mind my own business now! We share some of the same struggles, still have different hurdles and challenges, as well. I listen to the women in my classes talking about finding balance and taking time for them and sometimes, I am like "Seriously", just say NO! It seems so simple to me, but I KNOW (and respect!) how MUCH easier it is said than done, for sure!!!

    Words from the heart, I hope you know.....I am honored and humbled to have you as a role model, friend, sister and confidant. You are teaching me SO much about giving and graciousness. I need that to find MY balance.

    Love and hugs, beautiful lady!!

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  2. Great comments!! It reminds me of a verse I have read over and over. Titus 3:14 "And let our people also learn to maintain good works, to meet urgent needs, that they may not be unfruitful." Sometimes we forget to prioritize and to only take care of URGENT needs, instead of EVERYTHING everyone asks of us. I have to keep this one near and dear to my heart. Keeping in mind that a lot of what makes ME happy is making OTHER PEOPLE happy. So, I don't want to cause an internal battle either that later leads to guilt. But, I have said before and keep saying, once I get my priorities in line, if I prioritize my calendar based on my actual priorities, then I am much happier.

    My priorities are God, family, church, work... In that order. So I don't let family creep in between me and God. And I also try not to let my responsibilities to work (or church- that one's a little tougher) take over my responsibility as a mom and wife.
    So all that being said, me being skinny wasn't in the priority anywhere. So I need to revisit that. Because when I feel good about myself, I am less self-conscious, which makes me happier, which makes me a better wife, which makes a happier household, and probably all in turn makes me a more productive employee.

    So where can I fit in running and still have my priorities in line? Tonight, while my son is practicing baseball (provided it's not raining) and while my daughter is playing on the jungle gym that is placed in the middle of the track next to the baseball field, I will begin my journey. I will jog on that track, and not be worried about what people think about the chubby girl jogging.

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  3. Kendra, you are beyond great for saying those wonderful things! Thank you SO MUCH! I wouldn't even think to tell you to hush, especially with something that will help me! It's funny how you know some areas you need to work on and you kind of just avoid them, focusing on other areas so you don't have to deal. This is one I've struggled with for a long time... probably most of my life: setting boundaries. I'm doing so much better here lately, but making "me time" is the hardest one of all (surprising for an only child)!

    If I'm honest, working out in the basement was difficult for me at first! I actually felt a little guilty for spending an hour working out by myself when I should be making dinner or doing other things. And it's not like Todd or Trevor have said a word to make me feel like it wasn't okay to work out. I know they realize how important my dream is to me and they'd probably be thrilled that I'm working so hard to achieve it! My brain just malfuntions in this area I guess!

    Thank you SO MUCH for feeling comfortable enough to share your perspective on this and holding me accountable to do everything I must to make this dream REAL. I'm going to take baby steps, get out of my comfort zone, and DO IT! Love you!

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  4. Amy, thank you SO MUCH for sharing that with me. I really needed to hear that I'm not alone in this struggle. I LOVE Titus 3:14 and I'm gonna post it all over the place! :)

    I, too, have struggled with the guilt of not being able to do everyting for everyone all the time. I'm definitely getting better at it, but it's a work in progress!

    For example, I used to feel stressed when I didn't have time to write a blog post without staying up late and losing sleep. But I've come to realize that sometimes I need to take a break, especially if it means avoiding exhaustion. So now, I just have to be okay with missing a night of blogging every now and then. And truthfully, I'm okay with it!

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