I worried last night. Lying in bed feeling excruciating pain in my abdomen, resisting my husband’s pleads to take me to the ER, I contemplated my future and what’s next for me. What’s causing this pain? What will the doctor say at my appointment Wednesday? What if the path I was headed down takes an unexpected turn and I watch my dream vanish into thin air? What if it’s really what I think it is? What if it’s further along than we know? Are we prepared for such a life-altering change? Did I expect to deal with this at 35 years old?
I was worked up. My heart was racing. I couldn't breathe.
I don’t officially know anything yet.
All I really know is how the pain feels inside. It doesn't seem good. I know what I’m preparing myself for, but it's not official. I don’t know that’s what it is and worrying about something I can’t change is never going to propel me forward. It’s not going to add a second to my life. It’s not going to make my dreams become my reality.
God reminded me that everything that happens is part of His plan. He isn't going to let me down or let me go. I’m His daughter and He will take care of every need, desire, hurt, struggle, pain, and emotion I feel. He reminded me that everything that happens in my life is a story to tell… a testimony of His amazing love and grace! A declaration of how He carried me through yet another difficult time! He doesn't want us to worry or be anxious... He wants us to trust and have faith in His plan.
I immediately felt peace when He reminded me to “Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication, with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God.” Philippians 4:6. I can rejoice in the waiting and be thankful for the beauty around me!
I now rest with the assurance that my life is in His hands and, no matter the outcome, He will carry me through!
So stop feeling anxious and just breathe...