As I think of times I thought for sure I knew what I wanted, I breathe a sigh of relief that God didn't grant those requests. Some things seemed "so right" at the time, but it was in my best interest to leave it in God's hands, not trying to force something to happen that shouldn't. And I cringe when I think of the times I heard God's voice loud and clear warning me to make a different choice, yet I chose to do things "my way", only to face heartbreak and struggle because of my actions.
It's easy to look back and see why certain things happened in our lives and how it brought us to where we are today. I didn't like moving from my childhood home when I was little, but I see many reasons now why it was a good thing. I never wanted to go through a divorce, financial hardships, or a health crisis, but I've helped so many people through similar situations because God brought me through those seasons. I certainly don't want to be overweight, struggling with this battle for the rest of my life, and that's why I won't give up on this dream.
I can be selfish and quit. No one is forcing me to write these blogs or post on all the social media sites I use. I'm doing it in my spare time for free, so if one day I decided I was done, that's my choice. But why would I want to rob myself of the joys that breaking food addiction would bring me and those around me? Why would I want to rob others of hearing what amazing things God can do when you place your trust in Him? Why would I want to live a boring, unsatisfied life in a job that doesn't fit my personality or passions, letting my dreams die... and my soul along with them?
I'm enduring a challenging season in my life right now. I'm struggling with pain again, I'm facing difficult decisions that will impact my future and the dream I've held onto longer than any other, I've plateaued in my weight loss because I'm not working out (as a result of the pain), and I'm feeling stuck where I am, unable to create or find a way to transition into my dream career. Almost every day of this month I've felt like giving up and not fighting so hard for my dreams. I'm tired and I'm worn, but I know that's right where Satan wants me and I won't allow him to keep me here. He will not win this battle.
I may not have the strength to fight on my own, but I'm not alone! God is always with me, standing right beside me helping me. When I am weak, He is strong! I hear Him whisper "Chrissy, I love you. Don't give up. You can do all things because I will give you strength. I will never leave you and I will never lead you astray. I have a plan for you and it is a plan for you to prosper. You won't be harmed, you will have hope and a future. I make ALL things work together for your good. If you call to me I will answer you, and show you great and mighty things which you do not yet know. Don't worry about tomorrow, it's in My hands. Trust me, I have everything under control. Breathe and rest, focus on your blessings, and be thankful for the things I've done for you and the things I have in store for you!"
After hearing those words, how could I give up?