Some days I just absolutely DO NOT feel like trying or caring or dreaming. Some days it feels like too much work and effort and I don't feel like giving it. Some days I wonder why this is so hard for me and why I can't simply lose weight and maintain it and not struggle constantly with having an emotional connection to food. Some days I don't feel like fighting the Enemy.
"Stop being a victim! Keep fighting for what you want! Make your dreams come true no matter HOW log it takes you! Ignore the Enemy... you CAN do this! God has your back and He won't fail you! You KNOW this!"
My new inner dialogue is now immediately fighting off those self-sabotaging thoughts! In the past, I would have believed the lies and quit - AGAIN - because it just seemed like too much to handle during one moment of weakness. Although a part of me feels defeated by the fact that I haven't lost all, or even half, of the weight I want and need to lose after nearly two years of constant trying, it's clear in times like this how much I've grown.
I'm so much stronger and more secure than I was two years ago. I'm more forgiving of my own mistakes. I'm more positive and hopeful. I'm still focused on my dreams. I'm a fighter. I'm an overcomer. I haven't quit. I've endured many setbacks and I'm still going. I've fallen down and I keep getting back up. I've lost and gained... more than just weight. I've broken bad habits and I've created new, good ones. I've turned dreams from my dream list into reality. I'm still focused on this journey, ignoring the opinions of other people. I'm detoxing my life. I'm looking at myself in a new light. I'm loving myself. I continue to love life and it's loving me back.
I can quit if I want. No one is forcing me to be on this journey. But that's the best part... it's up to me. I can choose to keep going. I can choose to make things happen. I can choose to make the best of every situation in front of me. I can choose to love this life. I can choose to fight for my dreams.
I choose to never give up.