Wednesday, July 31, 2013

Wednesday Wow Factor!


Week 82
Start date: 12/28/11
Initial weight: 220
Current weight: ?  (Last weigh-in 7/10/13)
Total weight loss: 17 pounds

Last week's dream focus
Leave the past behind me; continue moving towards my dreams for the future; log food daily in the LoseIt app; rely on God to help me shut Satan down when he attacks; begin easing into fitness; AND GET SOME REST!

What went well: I haven't given up!  My solid support system (that includes YOU) helps me continue to fight for my dreams.  God's faithfulness and the people who believe in me are what keep me from giving up when this journey gets really difficult!  You help me believe in myself when I feel like quitting.  That means more to me than you'll ever know!


Challenges:  Some weeks just bring more challenges than others.  It's the way life goes and I'm so okay with that.  This has been one of those weeks for me.  
I've found myself tempted to give up and go back to what's "easy" and comfortable... eating whatever, whenever, any amount, any time, and doing as much or as little as I want... characteristic of the old me.  Some days I give in.  Other days I refuse to give in.  Some days are just spent learning the hard way.

My last 3-month Lupron injection was administered on March 15th.  Before I continue, let me give you some background so we're on the same page...

I've struggled with pain from endometriosis for a year and a half.  During that time, I've had two surgeries to remove it.  After the first surgery, the doctor put me on Lupron for 9 months.  Lupron helps manage the symptoms of endometriosis, giving your body time to heal, by suppressing the hormones that cause it to grow.  The side effects are the same as a woman going through menopause - although it doesn't exactly cause "early menopause".  Many women do add-back therapy to help manage the negative side effects.  My add-back therapy is a pill called Norethindrone or, as I like to call it, my crazy pill!  It makes me feel normal again!

It's been more than three months since my last - and final - injection and I'd hoped the Lupron would be out of my system by now.  When I forget to take my "crazy pill", I become a completely different person... someone who's short-tempered and wants to eliminate anyone in sight, for no reason!  (I now wonder how any marriage can last through menopause if a woman doesn't have a way to counteract those side effects!)  Things I always find so cute and sweet about my husband can make me flip out in a second if I don't take that pill.  So you can understand why he, the boy, my co-workers, the world, and I would be scared at the thought of me not taking it, even though the Lupron should be out of my system.

Well, I took the risk.  I didn't refill my last bottle and have been off Norethindrone for about 4 days... and I can tell.  I think my body is trying to adjust to the hormone levels on its own, which is good.  Tuesday, I was ravenous and crazy and ready to kill.  Today was much better!  I'm going to attempt to give it another week before I cave in and get more.  "God, please let me stay off this pill and get back to normal!"

This week's dream focus: Be patient while my body adjusts; keep pursuing those dreams; STOP running to food for comfort when I'm feeling stressed; begin easing into fitness; AND GET REST!

Tuesday, July 30, 2013

Failure... or Experiments?


When I was nineteen, I worked as a visual merchandiser at JC Penney in the Blue Ridge Mall.  (A visual merchandiser creates and develops displays to attract and motivate customers to buy something.)  In the evenings, I attended interior design school and was working towards my dream career.  One evening after class, an instructor proposed an incredible opportunity for me to be part of a team tasked to set the stores in the soon-to-open 'Great Mall of the Great Plains' in Olathe, Kansas. 

I couldn’t believe she would take a chance on some fresh-out-of-high-school amateur who'd never done anything like that.  This mall was supposed to be the Midwest’s equivalent of the Mall of America and she asked some newbie, who’s window displays she’d never seen, to help make it awesome.  How could she take such a risk?

I thanked her for the opportunity and told her I’d let her know if I could (would) help.  What began as excitement for a terrific opportunity turned into complete fear and insecurity in the forty-five minutes it took me to get home.  By the time I arrived at my house, I’d completely talked myself out of bear-hugging my dream, believing in myself, and taking a chance to see what great things might happen.  I later declined the opportunity.

I allowed the fear of failing, looking stupid, doing something wrong, or letting my instructor, myself, and every Midwest shopper down keep me from being awesome at my dream.  Who knows what could have come from seizing that opportunity?  To this day, I find myself wishing I could change my decision and say “YES!” before fear and doubt had a chance to set in.  

My instructor saw potential in me and she believed I could do it.  She believed in me more than I believed in myself.  I didn’t pray to ask how God would have me respond and I didn’t ask Him to help me shut down Satan’s attacks of inferiority and insecurity.  The Bible clearly tells us to “Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge Him, and He will direct your paths.” Proverbs 3:5-6


I've come to realize there’s really no failing in life; just a lot of experiments and a lot of learning.  I now say “Look what I learned.  I thought it would go one way and it went the opposite!  What can I take away from this that will help me in the future?”  And I talk with my Heavenly Father, asking for His guidance in every decision I face.  

Had I taken the "risk" and stepped out in faith, I might now be living my dream of being a successful interior designer in the Kansas City area.  I might be a happy, fulfilled visual merchandiser somewhere.  I probably wouldn't have spent the last 15 years of my life in mutual fund software development, something you couldn't have convinced me in high school I'd end up doing.  But, it's led me to this day!  It's let me to my amazing husband, my incredible bonus son, and the life I now lead!  It's led me to pursue new dreams that could inspire, motivate, and help others!  Those decisions have shaped my future and, although I wonder what might have been, I don't regret where I've been.  

From today forward, I’m not going to let being new to something stop me from trying.  When asked (by a person or Satan’s voice whispering in my ear) “Have you ever done that before”?  I will say “No, but I’m about to.” and I’ll ask God to help me.  Then I’ll try it… with no regrets!  If it works well, YAY!  If not, I’ll move on to something else! 

Believe in yourself.  Ask God to direct your path.  Trust His plan for you.  Learn from your experiments.  And bring your dreams to life!

Thursday, July 25, 2013

The Waiting


I trust God.  

I know whatever He has planned for me will be amazing!  Whether it's what I'd hoped for or something better, I know He won't let me down.  Some days I just wish the waiting period wasn't so difficult.  I know it's going to be worth the endurance, but there are moments when some dreams seem so far away and times when I question if they will even come to pass.

Being okay with God's answers when we can't see the outcome isn't always easy.  God is very aware that we struggle with this.  Romans 12:12 says "Be joyful in hope, patient in affliction, faithful in prayer."  He asks us to focus on the blessing in our lives and find the good in every circumstance.  In even the worst scenario you can find something good if you look.  He asks us to be patient as we wait for what's to come and continue to speak with Him through prayer.  He can ease our worries and remove our fears if we ask for His help and give Him the honor, thanks, and praise He so deserves!

Will we get frustrated and anxious?  Sure.  We're human.  

Can God help us through those times?  Absolutely!  He can help us redirect our focus onto what's good, seek what we can learn from what we're going through, and keep faith in what He can and will do in our lives! 

Wednesday, July 24, 2013

Wednesday Wow Factor!

(Source)

Week 81
Start date: 12/28/11
Initial weight: 220
Current weight: 203  (Last weigh-in 7/10/13)
Total weight loss: 17 pounds

Last week's dream focus
Leave the past where it belongs... behind me.  Focus on my blessings in the present and move towards my dreams for the future; continue making good progress and good choices; log food daily in the LoseIt app; rely on God to help me shut Satan down when he attacks (because he ain't stoppin' soon); begin easing into fitness - being careful not to do too much too fast; have patience while getting back into the routine of healthy living; AND GET SOME REST!

What went well: Life has slowed down (somewhat) and I'm feeling closer to normal in my routine!  I've been fighting the devil a lot this week and God has helped me win those battles!  I've been able to forgive myself and keep moving forward when I've made mistakes, which seems to have happened more than I'd like to admit.  I was tempted several times to be that old emotional eater again.  There were days I was able to resist and days I caved in.  The best news is that's behind me and I've continued to move forward!


Challenges:  I still don't feel as though I've caught up on my sleep.  Even though baseball has slowed down, it's like we're making up for lost time and catching up on chores and things we wanted or needed to be doing.  It's all good and I'm keeping my arm floaties on... I WON'T SINK!


I keep noticing sporadic pain that feels like the old familiar endometriosis pains.  Each time it occurs I feel a little more weighed down than the last time, finding myself wondering how long this is going to continue before a crucial decision has to be made.  ("God, is that Satan talking or the voice of reason and preparation?")  I'm already questioning when the next surgery could be and I'm hoping I don't have to endure another set-back.  I realize everything happens for a reason and I can't prevent the pain, nor can I change what's to come.  So I continue trusting God, believing in His plan for me, and knowing that everything He leads me through will work out for my good and His glory!


This week's dream focus: Leave the past behind me; continue moving towards my dreams for the future; log food daily in the LoseIt app; rely on God to help me shut Satan down when he attacks; begin easing into fitness; AND GET SOME REST!



Tuesday, July 23, 2013

Choose Carefully


Choose carefully... in EVERY aspect of your life.

Every decision you make shapes your future.
It's up to YOU how you want it to look.

We can't control everything.
We can't always control our circumstances.
But we can control how we respond.

We can control the choices we make, whether others are watching or not.
And those choices affect our lives forever.
They also impact the lives of others, whether directly or indirectly.

So before you decide, ask yourself "Will I be okay with this decision later?
Would I encourage others to make the same choice?
Could I stand before God and my family and feel proud of the choice I made?

I pray you choose wisely.  
If you find you didn't, God will forgive you if you simply ask!  
Forgive yourself, look for the lessons to be learned, and make a better choice next time!


Monday, July 22, 2013

Roll With The Punches



"Just roll with the punches."

Sure.  I'd love to!  That doesn't mean it's easy.  And it doesn't mean I don't get frustrated.  

When I look at my dreams, I see where I am now and I remember where I expected to be this time last year.  They don't totally match up.  In many ways I feel like I've let myself down and begin to wonder if I could have - or should have - tried harder.  I wonder why I'm not closer to what I envision in my dreams.  I question if I'm really supposed to be on this path I'm following.  I wonder how many others I've let down.  

Um, hang on...something's wrong here...this isn't who I am...

...well hello there, Satan.  I knew I recognized you.  You would creep into the picture and try to put negative thoughts into my head.  SHUT UP WITH YOUR LIES!!!

The truth is: 
I'm EXACTLY where I'm supposed to be in my journey.  
I've made mistakes and I'm constantly learning from them.  
I'm proud of myself for not giving up... because this has been REALLY HARD at times.
I've encouraged others not to give up on their dreams.
Good things take time and there's not a quick fix that really lasts.
For the most part I've remained patient.  :)
I've created so many new, good habits that have become part of my life.
I'm much more aware of attacks from the Enemy.
I'm growing stronger in my walk with God.
I'm gaining confidence in myself and my abilities.
My faith keeps growing.
Everything that happens is part of God's awesome plan for me.
Oh, and I'm not God and I don't know the ending.


I love how Proverbs 3:5-12 sounds in The Message version of the Bible:
(Read the New King James version here.)

"Trust God from the bottom of your heart;
    don’t try to figure out everything on your own.
Listen for God’s voice in everything you do, everywhere you go;
    He’s the one who will keep you on track.
Don’t assume that you know it all.
    Run to God! Run from evil!
Your body will glow with health,
    your very bones will vibrate with life!
Honor God with everything you own;
    give Him the first and the best.
Your barns will burst,
    your wine vats will brim over.
But don’t, dear friend, resent God’s discipline;
    don’t sulk under His loving correction.
It’s the child He loves that God corrects;
    a Father’s delight is behind all this."

So I will GLADLY roll with the punches because this life was given to me by God and I am honored and blessed to live it!

Wednesday, July 17, 2013

Wednesday Wow Factor!


Week 80
Start date: 12/28/11
Initial weight: 220
Current weight: 203
Total weight loss: 17 pounds

Last week's dream focus
Continue making good progress and good choices; log food daily in the LoseIt app; rely on God to help me shut Satan down when he attacks; begin easing into fitness - being careful not to do too much too fast; have patience while getting back into the routine of healthy living. 

What went well: I've increased the good foods I've consumed and have limited the "less healthy" options!  I feel so much better about myself when I make those decisions, not to mention feeling better in general.  I can't stress how accountable you are when you log everything you consume.  Although I wish I didn't have to do this every time I eat, it's what I need to do now, until eating right is second nature to me.  I truly believe that one day I won't have to do this!


OH!  And I've noticed my pants and shorts aren't fitting as tightly and my face doesn't look as puffy lately.  HOLLA!  ...a great big milestone for this girl!



Challenges:  We've continued down the "busy" path and it feels like it's been "go, go, go"!  I think it should slow down next week!  All this hectic, non-stop stuff has led me to sleep deprivation, which is never good for me.  I need a certain amount of sleep or I get short-tempered and grouchy.  Not good.


In addition to feeling like Mrs. Grouchy Pants today, we've been working to refinance our home mortgage.  It started out fairly easy, but when the lender requested additional paperwork from my past, I began to dig up bones.  And enter Satan's dirty little secret attacks; inferiority and insecurity... which accompanies anger and heartache.  I uncovered things I forgot about my divorce... like completely blocked out.  I noticed things on paper that I didn't notice before.  And it hurt.  And it made me really upset.  And, for a few minutes I felt like the person I was when I went through it.  My stomach was sick, my heart raced, and I started to fight back tears.  The divorce was final 9 years ago, so to have reacted like it was only yesterday really caught me off guard.


Looking over these papers, it became very clear to me why my emotional eating got so out of control.  I instantly saw the damaged person I was and how I used food to "make everything better".  

But it never did.

And it never will.

God showed me how different my life is now.  The picture of how far I've come, how much progress I've made, how much stronger and more mature I am now, is one I'd like to frame!  Everything about my day started getting better after some prayer, volunteering at the Second Chance Pet Adoption Center of Kansas City, and finding sweet cards from my husband that happened to reside in the same box as my divorce papers.  God is so good to have shown me grace and restored my life!

I came across this blog post from Jon Acuff.  It was the reminder I needed to help me keep my focus where it needs to be... my present and my dreams for the future!  Jon put it this way...

Here's the simple truth about your past: 
Your past will either conform you or inform you.
It will shape you and twist and force you into decisions you don't want to make.
Or it will teach you and help you and inform you.
The choice is yours.  

This week's dream focus: Leave the past where it belongs... behind me.  Focus on my blessings in the present and move towards my dreams for the future; continue making good progress and good choices; log food daily in the LoseIt app; rely on God to help me shut Satan down when he attacks (because he ain't stoppin' soon); begin easing into fitness - being careful not to do too much too fast; have patience while getting back into the routine of healthy living; AND GET SOME REST! 

Tuesday, July 16, 2013

Go For It!



This is your dream.  
God placed it in your heart and He wants you to pursue it.
He knows you have the ability. 
He believes in you.
He knows you can do this, but not without His help.
He knows how it will impact your life and the lives of others.
He knows the passion in your heart to live the life He's created for you.

Have you tried to work on your dream but fell down along the way?
Have you felt as though it's too difficult?
Have you felt alone?
Have you felt like no one else understands the challenges you face?
Aren't you tired of wishing great things will happen for you "one day"?

Then start again today!
Leave your comfortable, safe spot and try something new!
Surround yourself with dreamers who actively pursue their dreams; people who believe in and support you!
If the only dreamer you know is the writer of this blog, connect. It's a place to start!
Make decisions that will get you closer to your dream.  Each one leads to your path of greatness!

Don't let your dreams remain dreams.  
Work on them. 
Pursue them.
Hustle.
Sacrifice.
Forgive yourself when you make mistakes and keep going.
Do things you've never done.
Take a chance and GO FOR IT!

Monday, July 15, 2013

A Change of Mind


The simple, common sense fundamentals of eating right seem to leave my mind from time to time.  Sometimes they sound so easy and other times they seem like the biggest challenge of my life.  Why?

Habit.  

Change can be difficult.  Change can be uncomfortable.  Change takes practice.  Change takes picking yourself up, dusting it off, and trying again... like a billion times.  Change takes forgiveness of yourself and others.  Change is a must if you truly want see your dream become your reality.

W.L. Bateman nailed it on the head when he said "If you keep on doing what you've always done, you'll keep on getting what you've always gotten." So when I think about my dream of losing weight and maintaining a healthy lifestyle, it becomes clear that I can't keep eating when I want, how much I want, and for any reason, the way I did in the past.  I must eat differently than before.  I want my dream to become my reality!

Here are some things that have worked really well for me in the past, when applied!  I'm sure there are a ton of tips, not on this list, that have worked for other people.  I'd love to hear your thoughts and suggestions and we can build a great big AWESOME list!


Healthy Eating Fundamentals
* Listen to your body's hunger signals.  Are they really hunger pangs or are you tempted to eat for another reason (an emotion, it's "time" to eat, etc.)?  If you aren't sure, drink some water, do something productive, and re-evaluate in 15 minutes.  

* Eat the proper amount of food.  Our stomachs are designed to consume a meal around the size of a clenched fist.  Are you eating larger portions?  Try using smaller smaller plates and bowls.

* Slow down and enjoy every bite!  Don't fly through your food to the point you can't enjoy what you're eating - or don't remember eating it.  Put your fork down, take a drink, and be aware of what -and how much - you're consuming.

* It's okay to leave food and terminate your membership from the "Clean Your Plate" club.  Begin with less food on your plate and you'll eat less... and waste less.  When dining out, ask the server for a to-go container when the food arrives and divide it up or split the meal with someone.

* Listen to your body to receive the "I'm politely full" signal. 

* Drink plenty of water throughout the day.

* Add more fruits, vegetables, and good proteins.  Clean eating is always a good idea!

* Consume less sugar.

* Don't fall into the trap of getting the most food for your buck.  It's never going to work well, unless you're splitting the meal.  



We have some good direction and tips to help us get closer to our dream! They're sensible, attainable, and good for us!  

So now it's time to decide:  "How important is my dream?" 

Thursday, July 11, 2013

Tropical Lime Protein Shake - Modified!


During my trip to the grocery store today, I couldn't help but feel excited to get healthier ingredients for my tropical lime protein shake.  And it helped to hear Michael Jackson singing "Wanna Be Startin' Somthin'" in the aisles.  (There's nothing wrong with doing the moonwalk in the store.  NOTHING!)


For the modified, lower calorie version I switched some things up based on fabulous suggestions from you... and my taste buds!  I'm really pleased with the results and excited by how fun it is to experiment with new ideas for shakes and smoothies!  

The biggest bonus, I shaved 100 calories off this time around.  HOLLA!


'Low Cal' Tropical Lime Protein Shake
1 scoop Vanilla Protein Powder 
1 cup Dole tropical mixed fruit 
1 cup Light Vanilla Soy Milk
1 tsp Imitation Coconut Extract
1 tbsp honey
Juice of 1 lime, or to taste

Topping:
1 pinch coconut flakes 
Sprinkles 

Add first six ingredients to a blender and blend until smooth.  Pour in a glass and top with coconut flakes and sprinkles for fun!


* For this lower calorie version, I used CVS brand protein powder (150 calories, 2g sugar, 26g protein); Dole tropical mixed fruit (70 calories); 8th Continent Soymilk - Light Vanilla (60 calories), McCormick's Imitation Coconut Extract (0 calories); Cooper's honey (60 calories); fresh lime juice (15 calories); coconut flakes (30 calories); sprinkles (5 calories).  
Total: 390 calories

Wednesday, July 10, 2013

Wednesday Wow Factor!


Week 79
Start date: 12/28/11
Initial weight: 220
Current weight: 203
Total weight loss: 17 pounds

Last week's dream focus
Forgive myself for mistakes made over the past few months and let them go; start getting back on track by making good choices in every area of my life; commit to logging food in the LoseIt app; rely on God to help me shut Satan down when he attacks; and be patient while getting back into the routine of healthy living.  I can't forget these things take time!

What went well: I haven't struggled with getting back into the swing of healthy living as I anticipated!  Once I began feeling better, and relatively pain-free, I've picked up where I left off!  I've been logging food in LoseIt and have noticed that overeating has all of a sudden become gross and unappealing to me.  YAY!  (I think there's something that can be said for holding yourself accountable.)


The fabulous scale victory of gaining only 8 pounds during this setback has rocked my world!  It really felt amazing to know I didn't mess up big time.  I actually think the reason my clothes weren't fitting well is mostly a result of having laparoscopic surgery, where your abdomen is inflated with gasses, causing swelling and bloating that doesn't go away overnight.  I'm okay with that.  It's finally behind me!

Challenges:  A busy life that has been hectic and non-stop lately has made it difficult to write a blog post every day, but next week looks as though it will begin to slow down.  However, I love that I'm able to do all these things without pain, so I'm not complaining!  I have experienced some insignificant pain several days this week, probably because I'm doing so much more than before.  This is why I'm going to ease back into fitness slowly and be okay with that.  Slow progress is still progress!

This week's dream focus: Continue making good progress and good choices; log food daily in the LoseIt app; rely on God to help me shut Satan down when he attacks; begin easing into fitness - being careful not to do too much too fast; have patience while getting back into the routine of healthy living. 


Feel Good Math


Not one ounce of me wanted to do it, but it had to be done.  

I had to step on the scale after eleven weeks of taking a break from weighing myself and  continuing to swim.  In my head I was convinced I'd gained a bunch of weight during that time.  I hadn't been able to work out since April 3rd because of the pain.  I hadn't been eating right, I hadn't logged food, I hadn't held myself as accountable for the choices I was making.  My new, smaller-sized clothes weren't fitting the way they did when I purchased them, so (internal thoughts) "I must have completely blown it".

But I didn't.

I didn't wreck the whole thing and I didn't blow it.  Instead, I actually surprised myself... and made myself REALLY PROUD!  I only gained 8 pounds during that time!  EIGHT!  Seriously?  I thought for sure it would be worse than that!

When I think back to those weeks I see that, although I wasn't logging food daily, I was saying no a lot when part of me desired to overeat or eat when I wasn't really hungry.  Many days I couldn't handle small amounts of food without feeling really full and nauseous.  I wasn't running to food for comfort as often as I used to in that kind of situation.  I wasn't feeling defeated.  I wasn't allowing my circumstances to overtake me and ruin everything.  

I didn't fail!  

I trusted God to get me through.  I gave myself a break because I couldn't help that I was in pain.  I knew this would pass.  I didn't allow myself to be a victim.  I listened for God's voice and looked for lessons I could learn.  I stayed patient.  I believed in His timing.  I believed this would help me in the future and trusted there was a reason.  I held tight to my dreams.  I shut Satan down and ignored his lies.  I never gave up.

After my surgery in August of last year, I gained back the 25 pounds I'd previously lost.  This time, it's only 8 pounds... and boy does that kind of math make me feel good!  :)

Now, on to the next chapter of my story!

Friday, July 5, 2013

Tropical Lime Protein Shake


I love tropical drinks and foods.  I love a good, ice cold protein shake.  I love limes and coconuts.  I love listening to good music while swimming at the pool and I love the smell of my suntan lotion mixed with the ocean breeze while jumping waves at the beach.  

So what could be better than a tropical lime protein shake in the summer?  Having one by the pool or at a beach (but I was working from home and had to "suffer").   :)

I threw this concoction together today and it rocked my world!  It came to 490 calories which is a little more than I would normally consume in one shake.  In the future, I will opt for skim milk or water and skip the cream of coconut, which is probably more sugar than I need.  I can always use coconut extract in its place.  

Give it a whirl and let me know what you think!  And I love to hear your ideas on ways to make it better!



Tropical Lime Protein Shake

1 scoop Vanilla Protein Powder 
1 cup Dole tropical mixed fruit 
1 cup milk 
1 tbsp Cream of Coconut
1 tbsp honey
Juice of 1/2 lime, or whole, to taste

Topping:
1 pinch coconut flakes 
Sprinkles 

Add first six ingredients to a blender and blend until smooth.  Pour in a glass and top with coconut flakes and sprinkles for fun!


* For my shake I used CVS brand protein powder (150 calories, 2g sugar, 26g protein); Dole tropical mixed fruit (70 calories); 2% milk (120 calories), Coco Real Cream of Coconut (30 calories); Cooper's honey (60 calories); fresh lime juice (15 calories); coconut flakes (30 calories); sprinkles (5 calories).  
Total: 490 calories

CHECK OUT THE LOW-CAL MODIFIED VERSION HERE!



ENJOY!

Wednesday, July 3, 2013

Wednesday Wow Factor!


Week 78
Start date: 12/28/11
Initial weight: 220
Current weight: ?  (Last weigh-in 4/18/13)
Total weight loss: 25 pounds

Last week's dream focus: Continue managing pain; shut Satan down when he uses his little tactics on me; continue to pray, trust, have faith, and remain positive; be still and patient; keep my eyes on God and His blessings!


What went well: I'm relatively pain-free and feeling much more like myself than I have in a long time!  That feels AMAZING!  Mentally, I have clarity and don't feel as foggy as before.  I'm getting back into the swing of blogging and feeling re-connected to life which, as you probably know, has been a struggle for me the past three months.  I did begin logging food in the LoseIt app today... I'll give myself props for that good start! 


I started and finished the first of five new books I purchased called 'Quitter' by Jon Acuff.  Amazing.  I'm a lot further along in my dream job journey than I realized... or maybe I really knew it deep down and just needed the confirmation to propel me.  I'm now on to book two called 'Start: Punch Fear in the Face, Escape Average and Do Work That Matters', and it's already blowing my mind!  


Now it's time to continue the hardcore pursuit of my dreams.

Challenges:  Thank goodness for second (and third and fourth) chances!  I'm focusing on embracing this delay in my weight loss journey and trying to learn from the mistakes I've made in the last few months. I won't beat myself up over them.  They happened.  They're behind me.  I made poor choices and am, once again, dealing with the consequences of those choices (weight gain and another set back).  I have to own up and be accountable for my actions, forgive myself, and move forward!  


I have to KEEP SWIMMING!!!

This week's dream focus:  Forgive myself for mistakes made over the past few months and let them go; start getting back on track by making good choices in every area of my life; commit to logging food in the LoseIt app; rely on God to help me shut Satan down when he attacks; and be patient while getting back into the routine of healthy living.  I can't forget these things take time!


Tuesday, July 2, 2013

Dirty Laundry Day


I'd like to apologize for not posting yesterday as I said I would.  I was so busy catching up with life and time seemed to slip away.  I hope you can forgive me!  

Today, life is pretty much back to normal for me.  I'm feeling really good with minimal pain and have been able to stay at work all day without struggling!  I'll admit, I didn't expect to recover this fast, based solely on my recovery experience last August.  This time around it was so much better!  When I looked back and realized the impact those weeks of pain had on my thinking, emotions, and well-being, I was pretty surprised.  I now feel optimistic, refreshed, and SO thankful that hurdle is behind me.  Although surgery is over and I'm on the mend, I'm not picking up exactly where I left off.  I believe it's confession time...

I haven't worked out since April 3rd, two days after my birthday.  I remember it clearly.  I went to Zumba class in pain and wondered what the heck I was thinking when I got there. I couldn't do the moves the way I normally would.  I was hurting and feeling sick and wanted to sneak out a back door after the second song.  I endured.  And I paid for it.  So three months of minimal activity plus an increase of food intake equals weight gain and a trip to Gap Outlet to buy two pairs of pants for work a size larger because my "bigger girl" pants fell victim to the great purge of 2013.  

Have I mentioned I don't like math problems?  


I've made a lot of mistakes these past few months... more than I want to admit to you or myself.  But these mistakes do not define me.

Facts.
-The pain was out of my control.
-I made a lot of really poor choices when it came to eating during those three + months.
-I used the pain as an excuse to allow old, bad habits back into my life.
-Although I'm feeling better, I've continued to eat more than I should... and for any reason.
-Those poor decisions have caused many of my new clothes not to fit.
-I didn't fully rely on God to help me fight Satan's attacks in this aspect of my life.
-I haven't logged food in the LoseIt app for months and am out of the habit.
-Sometimes I wish this was easier and I could bypass the hard stuff.
-I have NOT messed up beyond repair.
-These mistakes do NOT define me.
-This is NOT the end.
-My dreams are NOT dead.

There.  My dirty laundry is out in the open.  I've talked it over with God and He's washed it clean.  You're aware of it, too, and I hope you don't give up on me!  The thing I've learned the hard way is that I won't be successful if I don't forgive myself and keep trying.

So here I am - once again - getting back up, dusting it off, forgiving myself, and moving forward.  I knew the journey to making my dreams come true wouldn't be an easy one, and I still believe, with all my heart, the end will be worth it!  So I press on with a smile on my face, hope in my heart, and faith in what God will do...