Friday, August 30, 2013

Friday Reflection


Reflecting on the person I was when I started this (blogging part of my) journey, I'm overwhelmed with emotion.  Although I'm not at all where I expected to be with the amount of pounds lost or the number of dress sizes dropped, I've grown so much emotionally... and that is priceless!  

*I find myself putting the devil in his place more frequently than I ever did before!
*I'm relying on God more and growing in Him daily!
*I'm sickened by the various drama that presents itself and I recognize the one behind it!
*When drama shows up, I'm less likely to engage in it or allow it to consume me!
*I focus on facts and am less likely to allow my emotions to consume me!
*I found my true grit!
*I'm much more likely to forgive myself and keep moving forward!
*I embrace my dreams and I don't let them die!
*I pray more!
*I worship more fully with an unquenchable desire for God's presence!
*My self-esteem is improving!
*I've been so supported and have made many new friends on similar journeys!
*I think about the consequences before eating and there's less mindless consumption now!
*I achieved my dream of becoming a licensed Zumba instructor! (BOO YAH!)
*I'm more positive and able to let things go easier!
*I'm so much closer to the rest of my dreams!
*I wanted to give up so many times but I didn't!

I AM AN OVERCOMER!

Thursday, August 29, 2013

How Will You Deal?


We're going to face challenges.  
We're going to face adversity.  
Things won't always work out the way we'd planned.  
We're going to feel hurt.
We're going to feel pain.
We're going to suffer.
We'll find ourselves in a crisis of belief (over and over again).
Emotions will rise.
Tempers will flare.
We'll be reminded of the past.
We'll question the future.

And we must decide how we'll respond in these circumstances.

Our response could...
mend a relationship or destroy one.
build trust or break it.
build confidence or tear it down.
grow a future or ruin it.
encourage or discourage.
create good habits or enable bad ones.
build a good reputation or ruin one.
bring us closer to our dreams or kill them.

How will you deal?

Wednesday, August 28, 2013

Wednesday Wow Factor!


Week 86
Start date: 12/28/11
Initial weight: 220
Current weight: Taking a break from weighing (Last weigh-in 7/10/13)
Total weight loss: 17 pounds

Last week's dream focus
Keep being positive, adding one good thing every day to develop my good habits again;  get to the gym (if the pain will cease); hustle to make these dreams come true; STOP running to food for comfort when I'm feeling stressed; and forgive myself when mistakes are made... after all, I'm human!

What went well: I've leaned on God BIG TIME this week!  He's helped me through so many emotional days where potential drama has been right in front of me, but I've refused to feed into it.  I'm NOT going to focus on the past and negativity.  It's exactly what Satan wants me to do to get my focus off my dreams.  No thanks.  I'LL PASS!  (So over it.)

This week's eating has been fantastic!  I've consumed less food than I normally do, like EXCEEDINGLY less than what I've been consuming lately.  Food has seemed like fuel to me and I've found myself having to remind myself to eat.  That has been on my dream list since day one of this blog!  I pray for this to continue.

"That one dream" I refer to often is alive!  Just when I was ready to give up on a previous version of the dream (because they do morph and change often), I found it on life support Tuesday!  I still don't know if this is what God has planned, but I've envisioned it for a couple of years and truly believe in the impact it could make if I just had the right people backing it.

Challenges:  My endometriosis pain hasn't let up and it's getting a little worse every day.  I spent most of the weekend with a heating pad on my stomach and slept as much as I could despite our busy schedule.  This is really wearing me down emotionally.  I'm not sure of the next steps, I'm not sure what doctor to trust, I'm not sure what the future holds.  I do know Who holds my future so, although I'm emotional and searching for answers, I'm not afraid.  I know God is in control of this!

This week's dream focus: Keep focused on God during times of drama, dysfunction, and uncertainty; keep hustlin' to make these dreams come true; keep viewing food as fuel!

Tuesday, August 27, 2013

Infiltrating


Well, Satan, here we are again.

I knew it was a matter of time before you'd come back in full force.  And it's okay.  You have a lot to lose.  The thing is, God already has this under control.  The victory is His and you absolutely will not win.  But go ahead and continue whispering your lies in my ear, because I know you will.    

I don't have to believe them.

The closer I get to God, the more He shows me things for what they truly are.  He reveals to me it's you behind the chaos, the dysfunction, the drama.  You send your demons to surround amazing, talented people, shifting their focus away from God, straying from the path they're meant to take.  You send your troops to attack relationships, make people feel insecure and inferior, and you ruin reputations.  You corrupt our children and youth.  You hold people in bondage with addiction.  You're hurting people I love.  

There's nothing good in you, nothing good about you.


God will turn those hard times into a testimony of how to overcome!

I'm not asking you to bring it, but I expect you won't stop any time soon.  So I put on my shield and prepare for the battle to continue.  With full faith in God I march forward, towards my dreams on the beautiful path He designed for me.  

I'll face mountains.  
I'll need to rest.  
I'll need support, strength and endurance, all of which I'll get from my Heavenly Father. 

Although you aren't going away, Satan, I feel SUPER secure.  With God, I don't have to fear!

Monday, August 26, 2013

Crisis of Belief


I've never liked conflict.  I've spent most of my life avoiding it at all costs.  I wanted to get along with others at all times, I didn't want anyone upset with me, I didn't want to feel awkward and uncomfortable around someone... I just wanted peace and happiness.  Truthfully, I'd still prefer life to be this way!

But life brings differences of opinion, different backgrounds and experiences, communication methods, personalities, natural reactions, and beliefs.  We try to make sense of it all, so sometimes we create stories in our minds to rationalize why someone did this or someone said that.  We internalize our feelings, replay the things they said and did over and over in our minds, we think of all the things we should have said, and we make ourselves sick and stressed.  We complain about it to others, affecting their day.  It consumes us.  It steals our joy.  It takes our focus off our dream.  It can lead us down a path we never wanted to be on if we aren't careful.

I traveled that path for many years, but have since found a better road!  I do stray off this new road from time to time and find myself in a "crisis of belief".  The word "crisis" is derived from a word meaning "decision".  A "crisis of belief" is a turning point where you must make a decision.  How you respond will determine whether you move forward on the path to your God-sized dreams, or whether you will continue to go your own way and miss out on what God has purposed for your life.  


I reflect on past turning points in my life - times when I avoided conflict - and I wonder how it might have turned out had I handled my portion differently.  Rather than running away and not dealing with it, what if I had initiated a crucial conversation?  What if I listened to gain a better understanding rather than speaking to be heard?  What if I focused on the facts rather than the emotion?  What if I created a safe environment by showing respect, courage, and polite honesty?  What if I sought mutual purpose?  What if I tried to focus on what was really important?  I can think of many scenarios that would have turned out drastically different had I not avoided conflict.  

This applies to my weight loss dreams as well as my relationship with others.  I feel internal conflict when my emotions drive me to want to eat to fill a void.  I reach a crisis of belief and a decision must be made.  "I can eat this Nutty Bar that I don't need - this Nutty Bar that will delay my weight loss dream rather than expedite it - or I can resist the temptation and drink some water, then decide in another 15 minutes if I'm truly hungry and, if so, eat something healthy."  

One choice strengthens good habits and leads me closer to my dream of losing weight and maintaining a healthy lifestyle.  I feel proud of the choice I made and it fuels me to continue down the right path! 

The other choice delays that dream, strengthening bad habits, keeping me held a captive in this toxic relationship with food.  (Food is not necessarily bad, overeating is.  Obviously some foods are better than others.)  I begin feeling guilty I made that choice, I beat myself up over it, I stress out over it, I feel like giving up.

In our relationship with others, in the journey to our dreams, we have decisions to make. WE choose how we'll respond to others and to our crisis' of belief.  It's up to us, no one can decide for us.  How do you want your life to look?

Friday, August 23, 2013

Mind BLOWN!


I've spend the majority of my life wishing I craved salads the way some people do.  I try and try but I just never seem to enjoy them, with the exception of a salad from Kelso's in North Kansas City - and it's mostly a result of their homemade creamy garlic dressing (I've actually blogged about it before!).  There's this part of me that's dying inside to be a "salad eater".  Maybe it's because it's a healthy menu item to crave.  Maybe it would help me get closer to my dream.  Maybe I should add it to my dream list!

So Thursday, Julie - the wife of a praise team member at church - made dinner to help the team as most of us were heading to practice straight from work.   On the table sat a bowl filled with a fabulous, colorful salad containing berries and walnuts, tossed in a fresh raspberry vinaigrette.  I was so hungry and it was so pretty!  Something compelled me to try it although, I'll admit, I envisioned it going into the trash like all the other lettuce I couldn't bare to choke down.  

I could NOT believe how amazing it was!  It hit my taste buds in the best way and I wanted more... and I had more!  AND leftovers were sent home with me to enjoy again!  I took the salad to work and started munching on it right after I arrived this morning.  I couldn't help myself... it was all I could think about!  I ate the rest for lunch and loved every bite.  I was totally satisfied and later found myself wishing I could have more for dinner!

Julie, YOU ROCK and I can't thank you enough for spending your time, effort, and money to make such a great meal for us.  You couldn't have known it would make this kind of impact on me.  Now THAT, my dear, is using your God-given gifts to impact lives!  After a few minutes of begging, Julie shared her salad recipe with me and I can't keep it to myself.  I hope you enjoy it!


(Not my photo, but you can find another tasty salad recipe here!)

Berry Walnut Salad with Fresh Raspberry Vinaigrette

Berry Walnut Salad
Fresh spinach and/or romaine lettuce
Strawberries, hulled and sliced
Blueberries
Dried Cranberries
Walnuts or pecans, chopped 

In a large bowl, mix greens, strawberries, blueberries, dried cranberries, and nuts.


Fresh Raspberry Vinaigrette
1 pint fresh raspberries (or 1 cup frozen)
1/4 cup apple cider or balsamic vinegar
2 tsp sugar
2 tsp Dijon mustard (or 1 teaspoon dry mustard)
1/4 cup vegetable oil
Salt and pepper to taste

Add raspberries, vinegar (or cider), sugar, and mustard to a blender or food processor and puree until smooth.  Slowly add oil until well combined.  Add salt and pepper to taste.  Coat salad with dressing just before eating to prevent wilted greens.

Variation: To make a creamy raspberry vinaigrette, stir in 2 tablespoons of raspberry yogurt! 


Thursday, August 22, 2013

Words Can Hurt


Words can hurt.

And once said, they're sometimes difficult to forget.  This applies to the words we speak to ourselves, as well as to others.  The more we tell ourselves things the more we believe them.  We create stories in our heads and draw conclusions without all the facts.  We focus on what we want to hear and ignore the things we don't want to face.  We beat ourselves up.  We blame others.  We avoid processing things from our past because it hurts our hearts and our pride. We usually don't like to be held accountable for our actions.

I don't like having to admit when I mess up.  And I've made it so much more uncomfortable for myself by having this blog, Facebook page, Twitter, Instagram, Google+, and LinkedIn.  I've committed to share my victories AND struggles with the world in an effort to hold myself accountable in this weight loss journey and the journey to bring my dreams to life.  But it's not always fun.  When I'm struggling emotionally, physically, and mentally, I'm sometimes really embarrassed to share it with you.  I don't want you to know I'm not rocking it every day like a pro and setting a perfect example of how it should look.  Reality is, nothing - and no one - is perfect.


I could probably sit here and write a well-written, uplifting and inspiring post every day, leading you to believe that everything's hunky-dory in my world.  But it would eventually lead you to question what's wrong with you.  You'd think "Why do I struggle so much when this chick has it so easy?  Why can't I seem to be this happy and motivated all the time?  Why do I keep messing up and having to fight so many battles?  Why should I even keep trying?  It's just too hard." 

Yes, the journey to make those God-given dreams come to life is definitely hard.  Like, super hard.  But it's worth it!  Life is difficult and we are NOT perfect.  We make mistakes, we do things we don't want to do, we say things we don't want to say, and we find ourselves wishing we could take things back.  For example, I wish I would've talked myself out of those Nutty Bar cravings last week at work.  I'd be $5.50 richer, I would've saved 1,150 calories, and I would've been so proud of myself for resisting those temptations.  What's done is done and I can't take it back.  What I can do is confront it head-on, forgive myself for giving in to temptation - reverting to old, bad habits, and move forward.  JUST KEEP MOVING FORWARD!

Every time I share my embarrassing moments and uncomfortable admissions with you, I feel freedom.  I feel supported, encouraged, and loved... and it makes me want to keep going.  I find forgiveness from God and from those who care about me and my happiness. And I forgive myself and try again.  Instead of beating myself up with words like "Why even bother" and "This is too hard" and "You're a failure", I will encourage myself by saying "It happened... but this dream is too important to me so I won't give up" and "It's difficult, but it will be totally worth it", and "You're a rock star for not giving up"!

I refuse to dwell on mistakes I've made.  Satan wants that for me, but he won't win.

Wednesday, August 21, 2013

Wednesday Wow Factor!


Week 85
Start date: 12/28/11
Initial weight: 220
Current weight: ?  (Last weigh-in 7/10/13)
Total weight loss: 17 pounds

Last week's dream focus
PUNCH FEAR IN THE FACE... with more than just that "one" dream;  get to the gym - for real; hustle to make these dreams come true; STOP running to food for comfort when I'm feeling stressed; begin easing into fitness; AND GET REST!

What went well: God is helping me forgive myself for mistakes made and to keep moving forward.  Satan is really attacking, but God is SO much bigger!!!  I've had days where I feel so down on myself for getting back to where I didn't really want to be, but I'm forgiven, so I have to move forward!  I'm staying afloat, trying to keep focused, and surrounding myself with positivity.

Challenges: 
A weekend traveling to the south was a challenge for sure - it always is!  We enjoyed our old favorites, but I went overboard with desserts, convenience store snacks, and even some sweet tea (which I've totally resisted during the last three trips to Louisiana).  I didn't do my best, but I've certainly done worse!

I haven't made it back to the gym.  In the last two weeks I've started to experience pain again, less than two months after surgery.  I'm just not sure how I'm supposed to deal with this.  It's frustrating and I don't exactly know what to do or where this is leading.  

Endometriosis is not fun.

This week's dream focus: Keep being positive, adding one good thing every day to develop my good habits again;  get to the gym (if the pain will cease); hustle to make these dreams come true; STOP running to food for comfort when I'm feeling stressed; and forgive myself when mistakes are made... after all, I'm human!

Tuesday, August 20, 2013

Coming Clean


Setbacks happen, delays occur, and progress can be slow.  We decide how we'll respond to every situation every day.  We make choices and we have to live with the results.  Sometimes we make ourselves proud and other times we'd like a do-over.

I'd like a do-over.

In March, I was making so much progress on the journey to my dreams.  I received my licence to teach Zumba, I'd lost 30 pounds - again, I purged my closet of my "big girl clothes" and replaced them with skinny jeans, and I was pursuing my dream job.  Then, the pain began again.  It didn't let up for 12 weeks and prompted another surgery. Recovery followed surgery, and getting back on track has proven to be more difficult than I ever anticipated.  I really thought it would be easier after my second surgery in a year.

Unfortunately, I've let myself down these past few weeks.  I haven't made good decisions and those poor choices have added up.  I've started gaining weight, my "skinny" clothes aren't fitting well, and the pants I bought to "get me by" are now feeling snug.  I haven't been exercising, I've been eating whatever and whenever I want, and I've been feeding myself old lies like "this one time won't matter" and "I can get back on track tomorrow".  

But every time matters.  And I don't have to wait until tomorrow... I can get back on track this very second.  

I've made a lot of mistakes these past several months.  I wish I would have made different decisions, but I didn't.  What's done is done. 

I don't like that I allowed my old habits to take over and let Satan get me off track.  But I do love that I haven't given up.  I haven't drowned.  I haven't ruined everything.  And I love that Satan isn't in control of my life!  I decide if I allow him to win or if I open my heart to all God has in store for me!  I decide if I want my life to be fruitful or full of despair.  I decide if I will be a victim or an overcomer.  I decide if my dreams are important enough to continue fighting for.  I decide if my story will be inspirational or depressing.  I decide.

And Satan, I've decided you will NOT stop me.

Today 

Monday, August 19, 2013

Y'all Come Back Now, Ya Hear?


I wanted to pop in to say a quick "howdy" and that I'm sorry I haven't posted in a few days!  'The Boy' attended a baseball showcase camp at LSU this weekend, so I haven't had much free time.  I certainly have a lot to share tomorrow, so please come back to hang out!

Wednesday, August 14, 2013

Wednesday Wow Factor!


Week 84
Start date: 12/28/11
Initial weight: 220
Current weight: ?  (Last weigh-in 7/10/13)
Total weight loss: 17 pounds

Last week's dream focus: Be patient while my body adjusts to the change in hormone levels; keep pursuing my dreams; hustle to make this certain dream come true; STOP running to food for comfort when I'm feeling stressed; begin easing into fitness; AND GET REST!

What went well: I think my hormones are starting to level out!  If you read last week's WWF, you'll understand what a HUGE victory and answer to prayer this is!  I haven't killed anyone or ripped anyone's head off.  SCORE!

I said no to a few "eating when I'm not really hungry" temptations and to say that, with the way I've been eating lately, is a bonus!  I've been pursuing that "other" dream I've been struggling with and I'm making a lot of progress towards it.  I'm punching fear in the face each chance I get and I'm making things happen.  I WON'T settle!

Challenges:  So, although I said no to a few 
"eating when I'm not really hungry" temptations, I've binged and gone out of control on a few other occasions.  I haven't blown it, I've just been doing the Cha-Cha quite a bit! 

The gym and Zumba?   Well, that still hasn't picked back up.  I haven't made time and I haven't made it a priority.  I've allowed anything and everything else to get in the way of that routine.  What did I just say about punching fear in the face?  Hmm... I have some soul searching to do here.

This week's dream focus: PUNCH FEAR IN THE FACE... with more than just that "one" dream;  get to the gym - for real; hustle to make these dreams come true; STOP running to food for comfort when I'm feeling stressed; begin easing into fitness; AND GET REST!

Tuesday, August 13, 2013

Cha-Cha Now Y'all


A great friend shared this picture on my Facebook wall today.  He said "Chrissy, this just sounds an awful lot like you!"  

He had no idea how much I needed this, nor could he know the impact it would make on my day! I've really been struggling to get back on track with good, healthy eating and fitness habits since my second surgery.  Some days I totally feel like giving up and going back to what's easy and familiar.  Some days I start to get really down on myself, feeling as though I'm letting God, myself, my family, and you down because I'm not where I want, or expected, to be by now.  

This picture reminded me that things aren't a disaster at all!  I'm still focused and staying afloat!  Even on days when my biggest victory is that I didn't throw in the towel, it means I'm still "dancin'".  

I'm pretty proud of that.

So, I pat myself on the back for not giving up and I'll keep moving towards my dream... and I think you should do the same!



(Thanks so much, Gillsquatch!  I really needed this boost!)

Monday, August 12, 2013

The Battle Is Real


I absolutely don't understand God's timing.  

Sometimes that really frustrates me.  But the thing is, it's not my place to understand it.  I'm not supposed to worry about the "when" and "where" and "why" and "how".  I'm supposed to trust Him and have faith in Him... always easier said than done, I know!

Lately, I've found myself allowing that very frustration to completely overwhelm me, consume me, steal my joy, and lead me right back into emotional eating.  I'm back where I don't want to be.  I've felt trapped, defeated, and - I hate to admit it - I've felt hopeless in certain areas.  But you know what?  Those lies were whispered into my ear by the enemy.  Of course he wants me to give up on my dreams!  He doesn't want me to continue pursuing them because it would result in me growing closer to God and making a bigger impact for His Kingdom!  

It's the same for your life.  Satan wants nothing more than to keep you "content" with being a lazy slave to food or pleasantly miserable in your day job.  He wants you to talk yourself into believing that everything's fine the way it is, that being overweight with health issues isn't really a big deal.  He wants you to spend every day barely keeping your head above water as you're running to commitments, spending less quality time with your friends, your family, and God.  He wants you to believe the lie that your dreams will always remain dreams.  DON'T BELIEVE THAT!

The battle is real.  

Satan wants to keep you right where you are, but God wants to help you live the fulfilled life of your dreams! I never doubt that God is with me.  I never doubt that He's in control of everything.  I know He hears me... every word, both good and bad.  Sometimes I wonder why things aren't moving at my pace, but I believe He knows what's best for me. 

I will never give up on my dreams!  I will not believe Satan's lies.  I won't allow him to keep me unhappy and unfruitful.  God gave me this life to live and I WILL LIVE IT TO THE FULLEST!


Proverbs 3:5-12
(The Message translation)

"Trust God from the bottom of your heart; don’t try to figure out everything on your own.  Listen for God’s voice in everything you do, everywhere you go; He’s the one who will keep you on track.  Don’t assume that you know it all.  Run to God!  Run from evil!  Your body will glow with health, your very bones will vibrate with life!  Honor God with everything you own; give Him the first and the best.  Your barns will burst, your wine vats will brim over.  But don’t, dear friend, resent God’s discipline; don’t sulk under His loving correction.  It’s the child He loves that God corrects; a Father’s delight is behind all this."

Friday, August 9, 2013

Everyone Has a Mountain


"Everyone has a mountain."

Those words haven't left my mind since they were said during a conversation at work the other day.  A friend and I were talking about sin.  

Although I'm not tempted by alcohol, smoking, or drugs, I am seriously tempted by the desire to eat too much, to turn to food for emotional "comfort", to eat whenever I want, to be lazy, and to put myself down (among a billion other temptations).  Those temptations make up my mountain.  They're what I struggle with the most.  They seem to consume me all the time and I'm constantly trying to overcome them. 

I climb my mountain daily.  Some days I make a ton of progress and I feel like I'm on top of the world!  Other days, it seems like finding enough oxygen to stand to my feet is a victory in itself.  

I've felt alone on my mountain.  I've felt really supported there, too.  I've really enjoyed the view and taking notice of how much progress I've made.  But sometimes I lose focus and struggle to find my way back to the path that leads to the top - to my dream of overcoming.  I know God is always with me on my mountain, even when it seems as though He's silent or far away.  He's always there, just waiting for me to turn my eyes back to Him.

Today, I will begin reading Lysa Terkeurst's book 'Made to Crave', "Satisfying your deepest desire with God not food."  I want to conquer this mountain... and I know I can - AND WILL - with God's help!  

"No temptation has overtaken you except what is common to mankind. And God is faithful; He will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear. But when you are tempted, He will also provide a way out so that you can endure it." 1 Corinthians 10:13

What's your mountain?

Wednesday, August 7, 2013

Wednesday Wow Factor!


Week 83
Start date: 12/28/11
Initial weight: 220
Current weight: ?  (Last weigh-in 7/10/13)
Total weight loss: 17 pounds

Last week's dream focus: Be patient while my body adjusts; keep pursuing those dreams; STOP running to food for comfort when I'm feeling stressed; begin easing into fitness; AND GET REST!

What went well: I continue to press on!  I'm turning to God during really difficult times, trusting He'll bring me through.  I have a great family, a home, a job, transportation, and food on the table daily.  I'm blessed beyond belief, even when things aren't totally "going my way".

OH!  And the boy is officially a licensed driver!  He passed his test on the first try!  I'm proud, scared, and wondering why time has to fly by so fast.  :)

Challenges:  I've found this week to be more challenging that the previous.  My body is trying to adjust to the change in hormones and it's been pretty rough some days.  Sunday, Satan began attacking from the time I awoke and it was bad.  I felt anger, rage, sadness, frustration, and insecurity all before I walked in the church doors.  I marched in and began to cry, telling the praise team I needed serious prayer to get the negative energy away from me.  I asked God how I was supposed to stand on that stage and lead the congregation in worship singing "Oh, Happy Day" when I didn't feel it.  I knew He would pull me through!
 


After prayer and practice, things began to get better.  But it was the Soul Detox lesson I taught in Sunday school that really helped me pull right out of the funk... almost like I was going through an actual detoxification, cleansing impurities and contaminates from my mind, body, and soul!  When it was time to lead worship - I began with prayer, thanking God for delivering us from our sins and the attacks of the Devil.  In Jesus' name, I cast that evil out of our church, away from our people, and demanded he not distract us.  Worship was amazing and I felt like the old (super young) me!!!

I was able to enjoy the afternoon with my family, but by Sunday evening I was in full migraine mode.  The mold in Kansas City has been out of control, so for three days I've been fighting seriously nauseating headaches.  It could be a result of the hormones, I suppose.  Regardless, it prevented me from being able to handle blogging on Monday or Tuesday, so I really apologize for not posting.  Sometimes life is overwhelming and priorities have to be set, right?  And that's what I had to do.

In the midst of all these headaches and hormones, I've been really struggling with the pursuit of another dream and I feel SO STUCK.  ABSOLUTELY, TOTALLY STUCK.  It's not like I'm sitting around complaining and not attempting to do something about it.  I guess the timing has not arrived for it, so I press on, trusting God's timing.

This week's dream focus: Be patient while my body adjusts to the change in hormone levels; keep pursuing my dreams; hustle to make this certain dream come true; STOP running to food for comfort when I'm feeling stressed; begin easing into fitness; AND GET REST!


(Source)

Friday, August 2, 2013

Bricklayer


The frustration of pursuing a dream can be so overwhelming.  Heck, it's downright maddening sometimes!  Every now and then I just feel like throwing myself on the ground and kicking, screaming, and crying the way I did when I was little!  

Sometimes...
I don't feel like being patient.
I don't want to keep working so hard.
I get furious when I can't understand why things are happening the way they are.
I feel like quitting.
I don't want to ask God to help me.
I want to do things my way.
I want to blame others.
I want to rush the timeline.
I want to beat myself up for mistakes I've made.
I don't want to hear and accept the truth.

If my dream is important to me...
I will be patient.
I will hustle, work hard, and ask God to help me move mountains.
I will trust God's plan and His timing.
I will not quit, no matter what.
I will call on God to help me get through it.
I will thank Him for the abundance of blessings He pours on my life.
I will allow Him to lead me and will not attempt to control everything.
I will shut Satan down when he attacks and will not allow him to throw me off track.
I will be accountable for my actions and responses to people and situations.
I will not blame others.
I will forgive myself and learn from mistakes.
I will not be wrapped up in problems but will move forward, constantly trying to improve.
I will use the bricks Satan throws at me to build a firm foundation.

I now have a new job title.  I'm a bricklayer!