Life can be messy, there's no doubt about it. We struggle, we get knocked down, we get beat up, and we fight to keep going. It's no fun and sometimes it's just not fair.
When I endured my divorce 11 years ago, I remember feeling so humiliated, embarrassed, ashamed, scared, anxious, angry, heartbroken, and like a total failure. My life seemed to be falling apart. Things weren't turning out like I'd ever dreamed or planned. I never in a million years saw this coming. I certainly never thought I would be a divorcee.
How would I get through it? How could I face the world, my family, my church, my friends? What would my co-workers think or say when word began to spread around the office? What about kids who looked up to me... what message was this sending? How will I ever recover from this? Will I ever be the same? Who will want me now? Will I ever be able to trust someone else? Can I let my guard down and risk getting my heart broken? What if I'm single for the rest of my life?
How could God ever use me now?
All of those questions are valid and normal when going through a difficult situation such as this. But let me assure you, God can and will use you if you're a willing vessel! I held on to faith believing that God would somehow turn my mess into a message that could help others get through similar situations. Although I couldn't see it at the time, God was going to answer all my questions better than expected.
I did get through it! I was able to face the world, my family, my church, and my friends. They all loved me and supported me through it. My co-workers didn't turn their backs on me or treat me any differently than before. I was even able to connect with a few people who were going through, or had been through, divorces. Those kids who looked up to me then still look up to me now. I became an example of how to pick yourself up, overcome adversity, and keep moving forward. I did recover from it. I'm not the same; I'm stronger and better. I've learned A LOT. I've grown. And God placed in my path the man I'm meant to be with! He helped me tear down the walls around my heart and begin to trust again. None of it was easy and it took time and patience, but I trusted God and He didn't fail me.
God can use you. And He won't fail you, either. Have faith!
"The Lord your God is in the midst of you, a Mighty One, a Savior Who saves! He will rejoice over you with joy: He will rest in silent satisfaction and in His love He will be silent and make no mention of past sins or even recall them; He will exult over you with singing." Zephaniah 3:17 (Amp)